I thought that too, and it hurt me more than accepting my actions with hindsight’s vision (which took me years to see).

There are three types of scenarios of cheating on your significant other. I’m not encouraging this dicey and potentially diminishing act, but if you have ever cheated on someone, there is a bright side to your decision-making.

The first boyfriend I cheated on (yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve done it more than once) was my first legitimate boyfriend. He was my best friend, and he made me laugh.

Eight months into our relationship, I became fond of this tall blonde in my confirmation class at church (starting off real moral, right?) This, I believe, was when I first felt what wanting what you can’t have was like.

My feelings for my boyfriend had already began to falter by this point, so my decision to go to the movies with the church boy wasn’t too filled with guilt. 続きを読む →

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Dedeker: Sometimes it’s not always obvious upfront. I think when people make agreements with partners that they end up not being able to keep, often it’s not a very obvious thing in the front of their brain right away of, “Oh, this isn’t something I can do, and so I’m just going to lie and say that I can.” I think for some people it is, but for many people, I think they do feel positive, like, “Oh yes, I can agree to that. I can totally agree with that. That makes sense.”

Lori Beth Bisbey says that in non-monogamous relationships, cheating is less about the activity, and more about violating the trust you’ve built up in your relationship

Dedeker: Yes. Then they’re actually in the situation like, “Oh gosh, well actually I probably shouldn’t have agreed to that. That’s really hard for me to maintain. Maybe it’ll be easier for me to just break that agreement, but not be honest about it.” I could see that also being a situation.

Jase: We’re going to go on in the second half to talk about what cheating looks like in non-monogamous relationships in a little more depth and look at some input from other people including our Patreons. Before we go to that, we’re going to take a quick break to talk about our sponsors for this show. Please, take a moment, check them out, listen to the ways you can support this show, because it really does go a long way to helping us make this show and bring this content to you all out there for free every week.

We’re going to read a quote from an article in VICE that was published in 2019, titled What Cheating Looks Like in a Polyamorous Relationship

Dedeker: We are back. Now that we’ve talked about the traditional relationship viewpoint, let’s move on to what it means to cheat in polyamory or other non-traditional relationships. 続きを読む →

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